I have uploaded my first novel on Smashwords, Kobo and Amazon.
These will be up shortly, but my book is live on Smashword.
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/489569
Eeeeeekkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG I hope you like it.
Here is Chapter One from Finding Erin.
Chapter
One.
Eddie
- Ten years later.
The room was still dark when I suddenly woke sweating and panting.
This had been the first nightmare I’d had in over a month. The sheets were
soaked and my body felt heavy with a thick blanket of sweat. I dreamt of
Maggie's sweet face most nights, tugging me into her sweet body and telling me
everything would be fine. This one had been so real and more intense than the
last one. Chains and gags surrounding her tear stained face. Her dark blonde hair
falling limp around her shoulders, with her shoulders slumped forward. Someone
was standing behind her. I couldn't see their face, I never could. Only the smug
smile that made me want to wrap my hands around their neck to squeeze every
ounce of life out of their body. I reached for her. Holding out my hand every
time, wanting to grasp onto something, anything. To make sure she was alive, but
there was no reprieve from this. I woke up every time with damp sheets wrapped
around my legs, grasping at some kind of outer reality, where my Maggie was
back. In my arms and safe.
My mornings were pretty much the same. A long cold shower to douse
the ache that was the constant reminder of Maggie. The walk through my
apartment to grab coffee and my keys. Making a mental note to ask Lucy to come
round and tidy round this week. The late nights and early mornings meant that I
was hardly ever here, but the takeout food and the bottles could get out of
hand on occasion. I tended to get someone in to take care of my mess. Lucy was
a quiet girl with dark blonde hair that reminded me of Maggie. She was the
daughter of a friend of mothers. That was all I saw when Lucy came around, was
Maggie. I think I'll remind her to come while I'm at work again, I thought. The
truth was it hurt to even look at someone who reminded me of Maggie. It was
better this way. No misunderstandings and no visions of Maggie in my home,
where she should have been all along. I needed to get my head together. After
everything had gone down at Maggie’s house after her disappearance, I was left
broken and bitter. The fear and anger drove me for the first few years, but now
I’ve become so good at the façade, no one questioned it anymore.
The drive to the office was done on autopilot, as much as
everything else these days. After Maggie had gone, I couldn’t even acknowledge
the fact that she may be gone permanently. I had to believe she was out there
somewhere. I poured all my efforts to finish up school and go in search of her.
It’s funny how the plans you have can suddenly change. I finished up school and
it wasn’t long after that, me and Rafi built Vance Media from the grown up. My
father was after moulding me into this corporate tycoon version of himself and
Rafi’s family was no better. Their money and connections had us fighting to
gain control of our own futures for a chance at a future we wanted. Vance Media
was one the fastest growing Media companies in Europe and was becoming globally
recognised with our advanced prototypes that were changing the face of Media
alongside the likes of Virgin Media and
Sky.
After ten years I had realised that, Maggie may never be coming
back to me. That big part of my soul may never be restored and wasn’t that just
the shitiest thing imaginable. I was destined for a life of solitude. The lift
had brought me out of my thoughts, noticing that Rafi was already at his desk,
hard at it. I crossed the entry way of our combined floor.
“Morning sunshine, was it a late night or an early start?” I asked
teasingly. He scowled at me and threw me the finger. I take it was an
all-nighter. Asshole. Laughing.
The new American acquisitions were messing with Rafi’s ability to
actually leave at a reasonable hour or even leave the office at all.
Noticing he had
finished up on the call, Rafi’s lousy mood was suddenly making my nightmare
filled dreams, drift away in my amusement at him.
“Was that the delightful Adrianna or
the scrumptious Annabella I heard?” I asked, openly mocking him now as I leant
against his desk. His anger was rolling off him in waves. I shouldn’t really be
riling him up after the late night or early morning he was practically pulling,
but Rafi had always been too easy to torment. University wasn’t much fun for
either of us after Maggie went missing. I was in constant darkness. The
nightmares came shortly after that, reminding me that I would never see or hold
her again. That fact alone was tearing me apart slowly, stitch by stitch. My
life was unravelling, but Rafi had stood by me and slowly pieced me back
together.
“Asshole” Rafi muttered under his
breath as he got up and knocked my shoulder, nearly sending me fucking flying
off his desk.
“Jesus man, what the hell?”
Rafi stood by the full glass windows. He was staring off into
heart of London. I looked out at the crisp morning sunrise, that’s when I
noticed it. The trembling of his left hand and the strain in his body.
“Ah, Hell no!” My heart sank. I rushed over to the window, putting
my hand on Rafi’s left shoulder to steady the trembles.
“Have you took your pain meds?”
“Fuck No, that shit sends me loopy
and you fucking know it Eddie” Rafi’s accent nearly evaporated at his anger at
me. His whole body sagged against the window now and I was the only thing
keeping him standing.
“What did Marley say about the
tremors restarting?” I questioned him.
Rafi remained silent. The tremors resided and his balance
returned, but I was worried. How long as this being on for? Rafi suffered with
a hereditary neurological disease that didn’t process his functions correctly.
The pain medication had stabilised it for years, but there was no cure for it.
“I’ll take the fucking silence as
you haven’t spoken to Marley” I barked at him with his back still facing me. I
walked over to Rafi’s desk and picked up the phone.
“Get me Marley on the phone Now,
Elaine” I said before hanging up on my assistant. It had only taken a minute
when the phone was ringing again.
“Marley, its Vance. Yes, I need to
bring Rafi in for an immediate consult. Today” I listened for another minute
while the doctor briefly questioned me on his symptoms and when he could fit us
in. I shot Rafi a stern look. His face was ashen and his grey eyes were
flashing anger at my interference. I sat back in my office chair whilst finishing
up the call. His whispered words shocked the hell out of me, “Prego non.” I put
the receiver back down and gave him a pleading look. Rafi’s head bowed. “Prego”
I pleaded with him in Italian. Rafi sighed and nodded.
“Two o’clock and Rafi” raising my
eyes up towards the door, noticing that Rafi was existing.
“Yes?” He turned to face me before
he reached the door.
“Take the fucking week off. Marcus
can finish off the American contracts” He was going to argue, but I was worried
about his health. Obviously he hasn’t been taking proper care of himself. He
looked like he had lost weight. To think of it. We both have been running
ourselves into the ground. With the new contracts that we had acquired recently
with the new software we were introducing into the mainframe as of next week,
we would be stretched. I shot him a challenging look and he left his office. I
sat at Rafi’s desk in utter silence, feeling that things were spiralling out of
control. The nightmare this morning and now Rafi was having tremors again.
Could my day get any fucking worse?
* * *
“Sabine is in your office, Mr Vance”
I winced. My day could get worse.
I pushed my office
door open. Sabine’s long auburn hair sat precisely in waves down her back. Her
black silk suit was fitted around her petite frame. Sabine sat in my leather
up-holstered chair and turned on her charm.
“Edward. I wondered where you had
gotten too.” Sabine purred seductively.
“What are you doing here Sabine.” I
demanded with a tone Sabine should have been accustomed too. She was has false
as her hair and nails. She gave me a wink.
“To fuck.”
“What makes you think I would want
you.” I stated. Sabine sucked in her bottom lip and released it with a pop.
“Why wouldn’t you?”
“You know that answer. It is the same one I gave your father.”
“Baby, don’t be difficult. You know what Daddy wants. He wants to
make me happy.”
“Leave.” I threatened through my clenched jaw.
“I can give what you need.” Sabine boasted, running her manicured
fingernails down my chest and resting just above my pants.
“I would rather not take sloppy seconds.”
“Ouch, baby. That hurt.” Sabine mocked.
Before I knew what she was doing. Sabine was on her knees,
unzipping my pants.
Her mouth was warm and welcoming. Sabine’s moans around my cock
had me envisioning a set of caramel eyes and waves of dirty blonde hair. Maggie
took over my every thought. I pistoled my hips into Sabine’s mouth,
unrelenting. My cock thickened making my spine tingle when my balls tighten. I
emptied my load into Sabine’s mouth, making her swallow every last drop. I
stepped back. I tucked myself back inside my pants and fixed my clothes. Sabine
knelt there waiting for something.
“Leave.” I told her firmly. Sabine got up and stood expectantly in
front of me.
“How about you return the favour Eddie.”
“You got what you wanted Sabine, to feel empowered and wanted. You
should have negotiated the terms if you wanted more. Lucky for me, you’re as
naïve as you are conceited.
“You are crueller than they give you credit for you know.”
“I know.”
“They call you the tyrant.” Sabine gloated.
“They don’t know the half of it.” I told her sarcastically.
Sabine huffed out of my office, slamming my door in response to my
dismissal.
* * *
“How about a week in the Caribbean?”
I asked, standing at Rafi’s office door studying his pale face. The top floor of
Vance Media had been divided into areas that we each could concentrate on our
particular tastes in design or technology, before the other departments came
and made the idea marketable. His office was to the left of the lift and mine
directly opposite on the right.
His eyes found mine.
He was exhausted. Why hadn’t I noticed this before? I needed to get him out of
this office and make him relax or I was going to lose my best friend and that
was not an option, loosing Maggie nearly broke me and Rafi. I couldn’t lose him
as well.
“You serious?” he asked with a shocked
expression on his face. His eyes had brightened up at the mere mention of a
vacation. He lounged back into his chair and began weighing my offer up. He
shuffled uncomfortably waiting for me to answer.
“Yep, sun, sand and
sex” I said wiggling my eyebrows at him. Making Rafi burst into laughter at my
lame attempt at humour. He ran his hand through his almost black hair and shrugged
his shoulders at me. Weighing my proposal up.
“We can’t this week, we have that conference for the Mackenzie
account on Friday”
“We can. What’s the fucking point of
us owning the company, if we can’t play hooky once in a while?” I shrugged my shoulders
in return. Elaine took that precise moment to enter the office, saving me from
Rafi’s further excuses.
I had her taking down everything that needed to be done while we
were away, not giving Rafi the choice or room to argue. By the end of play that
day, we were booked on the seven forty five to the Bahamas from Gatwick.
* * *
“How you feeling?” I asked nudging Rafi feet has I passed his sun
lounger. The water had cooled me off briefly. It was over an hundred degrees
today and the pure white sand of the hotel was soothing beneath my feet.
“Good, better than good man. I think I need to move here permanently”
Rafi chuckled with his eyes closed.
“Don’t be getting any ideas, our agenda is packed solid for the
next year. No immigrating to foreign countries, Raf. Come on, I saw two red
heads going into the Jacuzzi” I commented, getting to my feet to follow them.
Rafi gave me a knowing look.
I hated that look. He knew me better than anyone. I couldn’t
escape the facts of the last ten years. The façade was easy to maintain, even
in a different country. This had become the norm for me now and Rafi knew that
that wasn’t going to change. Both of us picking up woman to find a release,
just for the night. Quick. Easy. Painless. Anything more than that, had already
been taken from me ten years previously. My Laptop pinged at the arrival of
incoming mail. The subject header read Urgent, all I could read was NEW LEAD.
My heart was slamming into my chest.
Oh dear God. Maggie.
The idea of everything else ceased.
* *
*
“Rhodes, have you found her?” I asked after he answered my call on
the first ring.
“I’m not sure Eddie, but I’ll be damned if she doesn’t look like
her” That made my pulse race. What if it wasn’t her? It has been ten years. This
is all I had thought about since that day. Had anyone been found after being
missing for ten years? The possibility seemed unlikely, but that didn’t stop my
mind wandering to the possibility of seeing Maggie again.
“I’ll be back in the morning, I want a full brief in my office
first thing” I demand, ending the call. I searched Rafi’s face who stood
astutely in front of me. His face had darkened and his body was tense.
“You ok man” I asked, assuming he had heard my entire conversation
with Rhodes. Rafi just shrugged his shoulders. This wasn’t a good sign. Rafi
had never dealt with emotions very well. The older he got, the stricter he got
with himself. Everything had to be in order. Now this and the tremors from last
week, made me wonder if Rafi was strong enough to deal with the fact that we
might have found Maggie. Then there’s the disappointment if we never did.
